The Hack

By the time he turned 32, Arturo Gascon had become but a withered, dry shell of his former glorious self. He hit pay dirt in his mid-twenties, at a time when self-help was all the rage. Those were days of good hunting for him and countless other hacks—excuse me, image restoration professionals—who relentlessly fed the hopelessly guilt-stricken and lazy words of comfort and reassurance. Good times, easy pickings. Now, he sat in a dark, dingy, and dirty room, completing installment number three in his latest work: a series of furniture catalogs.