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Dirty trick # 784 suggests stealthily making your way into some fancy restaurant, grabbing all their salt shakers, and replacing the contents with sugar. That ought to make things exciting come dinnertime. Sit back as Mr. Yes-I’d-like-that-kidney-transplant yacks in surprise when he discovers he has a sweet tooth. An alternative is to loosen their tops, if possible, and have a blast as Mr. Prim-and-proper-black-tie turns his onion soup into the Dead Sea.