Section 3, Col. 5

Leonard Brackley, eccentric vocalist of the rock band Puztizo, committed suicide in his Atlanta apartment Tuesday night, EST. Investigators who first arrived at the scene confirmed that the outspoken celebrity shot himself in the head with a .45-calibre pistol. Brackley, 44, made a tour of several county drug treatment centers and, unable to kick substance addiction in these facilities, decided to live in isolation in the forests of Montana to “heal on (his) own terms.” Late last year, he declared himself “clean as a filthy whistle” and went back to the studio to record a solo album. Brackley leaves behind Helen Dorset, his partner for the past 12 years, and their 8-year old son, Mustang.

#6430

There was a young man from Scranton
Who was known throughout the county for his powers of olfaction
He was said to have once, picked out the scent of a rose
From a stinky pile of rotting vegetation.
His father did declare, “My son’s good enough to be stationed…”
…as a stand-in for them new farming contraptions.”
And with his amazing nose, the poor lad was employed
As a tool for methane gas detection.

Grover

Come on, man. Now you are just plain showing off. I know you’re a stickler for detail and always getting things right, but I mean, COME ON—home theater sconces? What’s wrong with the lights you have set up in your living room? Is there really some dark aisle you’ll need to go through to get to your sofa? Maybe we should go get you some of them hose-type Christmas lights and line every corner of your living room.

Katagalugan

1. What was the one toy or thing you didn't have in childhood that you promised yourself you'd get for yourself or get lots of when you grow up (and have money)? Remote-controlled cars and airplanes.

2. If you get offered half a million pesos to NOT take a bath, brush your teeth or wash your self for 3 straight months (while still going through your normal life), will you do it? Bayong.

3. Why do you think the taba (pork fat) is always put at the end of the barbecue stick? To piss me off.

4. What do you usually order when you come to eat at these joints -- McDonalds, Jollibee, Wendy's, Shakey's/Pizza Hut?

McDonald's: McChicken
Jollibee: Chickenjoy
Wendy's: Big Classic
Shakey's: Mojos
Pizza Hut: Super Supreme Pizza

5. How many rounds do you go before you wave the white flag at buffets/eat all you cans? Three.

6. What item from your childhood do you still have and keep? Nothing.

7. What's a non-negotiable trait for a life partner? Patience.

8. What one thing did you do on a dare? Pissed in someone's drink.

9. Where do you go when your soul needs soothing? KTV.

10. What one question remains unanswered in your mind? What is Lo Soy Sauce?

Taguan Pong

1. Can you name one person who made you laugh last night? Robin Williams

2. What were you doing at 0800? Checking my mail.

3. What happened to you in 2006? Completed my first year as a father.

4. What was the last thing you said out loud? "Anak ng..."

5. How many beverages did you have today? 4, as of writing this.

6. What color is your hairbrush? I don't own one.

7. What was the last thing you paid for? Peanuts.

8. Where were you last night? Home.

9. What color is your front door? Brown.

10. Where do you keep your change? Watch pocket.

11. What’s the weather like today? Fair.

12. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Double Dutch.

13. What excites you? Tera Patrick.

14. Do you want to cut your hair? In a couple of weeks.

15. Are you over the age of 25? Yes.

16. Do you talk a lot? Yes.

17. Do you watch the O.C.? No.

18. Do you know anyone named Steven? Yes.

19. Do you make up your own words? Affirmative.

20. Are you a jealous person? No.

21. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Anthony.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'. I do not have friends whose names start with 'K'.

23. What does the last text message you received say? "Cosa, anong number ni..."

24. Do you chew on your straw? No.

25. Do you have curly hair? Yes.

26. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Somewhere for lunch.

27. Who’s the rudest person in your life? I love everyone.

28. What was the last thing you ate? Peanuts.

29. Will you get married in the future? I'm already married.

30. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? Anchorman.

31. Is there anyone you like right now? My wife.

32. When was the last time you did the dishes? January 1, 2008.

33. Are you currently depressed? Would I know if I really was?

34. Did you cry today? No.

35. Why did you answer and post this? Candy is a friend.

36. 5 people you tag next? This ends here.

I wish I had...

A high-calibre rifle.




Hola from inside my empty, useless skull.

Immagini - Review II

Some of my favorite photographs from the past two years. Part deux.

Copyright Sherwin Ian S. Reyes

135 GOCC Execs Fail Performance Audit

135 executives of various Government Owned and Controlled Corporations (GOCCs) were given unsatisfactory to poor ratings in their end-of-year performance evaluations. The performance reviews were conducted by independent human resource and workplace productivity consultants, Johnson and Brown Asia (JBA).

In a report submitted to the Senate and the Lower House, JBA Head Analyst Rosario M. Clemente cited several instances of “gross negligence”, “obvious abuse(s) of power and (an) organization’s resources”, and “outright incompetence” as the main reasons for the execs’ dismal performance ratings. “We were surprised at how more than half of these so-called executives were able to get their positions, much less do their duties well,” Santos said. She further added that “JBA’s recommendations for requisite actions towards the erring GOCC executives are included in our report. All I can say is that the individuals concerned will not be too happy with them.”

The performance evaluation was conducted using various methods, including competency and aptitude examinations and peer/staff reviews.

Immagini - Review I

Some of my favorite photographs from the past two years. The first in what I think will be more than a few installments.

Copyright Sherwin Ian S. Reyes

Protection

What if houses actually were responsible for getting themselves insured? I imagine a middle-aged bungalow making the rounds as a travelling home insurance sales, well, house. It’d go around the neighborhood, talking to the duplexes and single detached units; informing them about the benefits of being prepared and giving friendly reminders about the repercussions of fire and natural disasters. Only problem I can think of is finding piece of paper a large enough for their contracts, and a big enough pen they can use to affix their signatures.

Traveller of both time and space

I spent the entire trip to the office today listening to Kashmir. It was just like the first time I heard it--when I ran off with an uncle's Zep cassette tape. Fantastic.

The Dark Knight Of Light

Intro: A5 – G5 – E5

A5 - G5 - E5
Here, in this world of fantasy, one mighty warrior stands

A5 - F#7dim - Fdim
With mighty sword in hand

A5 - G5 - E5
He has come to free; he has come to see that

D5 - C5 - C#7
All must shine, everything must be

A5 - F#7dim - Fdim
In a state of equilibrium, in conditions sanitary

Guitar solo I

A5 - G5 - E5
Here, in this world of fanciful flight, one mighty warrior fights

A5 - F#7dim - Fdim
Through the dark of stench and night

A5 - G5 - E5
He comes to ease; he comes to please

D5 - C5 - C#7
He comes to adorn thy throne with bathroom vanities!

Guitar solos II through XVII

Repeat Verse I

Outro Vamp (Guitar solo XVIII)

Kagat Agad.

Back in a high school, I had a couple of friends who were members of the school's track and field team. Both were runners, one was a sprinter and the other specialized in long distance events. One of the more interesting things I learned about athletics (track, in particular) from them is that it actually takes a lot more effort to stop than it does to start. Runners, according to them, spend more energy jumping on the brakes than they do getting off the blocks. Try listening to the footfalls of someone slowing down after a sprint--they'll sound like Thor was quite earnestly knocking on some poor bastard's door.

I now find this fact all the more interesting as I have recently been advised by a physician to learn how to manage stress; to stop getting stressed, if it were possible. The doctor used at least a thousand more words to tell me but essentially, the message was "Listen, sport. It is my professional opinion that you should pick a hobby other than routinely going ballistic."

Heh.

I'm on what you can call a stress marathon. It'll be fun seeing how I deal with stopping.

WSU

By the end of 1979, Ernesto had finally settled into life in college, away from home. His brother, Juan, was an engineering senior living in dorm 4A. Dorm 4A was directly adjacent to the freshman dorm and, in his first few months at WSU, Ernesto spent as much time in his kuya’s dorm as he could. He felt more at ease there, Juan’s friends treated him like a kid brother, and he learned a lot about college life from watching them go about doing things university men did. Now, with Juan graduating in a few months’ time, he felt that finding his stride in school was a rather fortunate occurrence--now that he had to fend for himself.

Hideyk

I remember it clearly, still. I was around eight or nine, getting ready for school when I saw one of my aunts slumped on a book table, moaning as her she tried to steady a shaky hand as it reached for a coffee mug. All the lights were turned down, TV and radio both off; the only thing functioning in the room, my aunt included, was a small fan that seemed to keep its hum in tune with my aunt’s moans. The reason I recall every detail is probably because of a word I heard for the first time that morning. When I asked her what was wrong, my aunt muttered “migraine.” It was an interesting word—to a kid of eight or nine, at least. It sounded so grown-up, something only grown-ups could were allowed to have. From that moment on, I kept imagining how all grown-up it must be like having a migraine attack… till I had my first one.